{Captureyourgrief} Day 16: Release

Day 16: Release
There is no release from the pain that I feel on a daily basis, but I feel that a few things can truly help. Exercising has really helped me to clear my sometimes clouded mind. The temple helps put things in an eternal perspective and when I'm there, I know without a doubt that I can make it through. And, honestly a good laugh with my mom and sisters makes me feel a lot better about life at times. They know just what to say. <3

{Captureyourgrief} Day 14&15: community and wave of light

My community of mothers who have also experienced a loss {HALO} have been so supportive and helpful to me on my journey. We have monthly meetings where I feel like I can be honest about they way I am really feeling and not be judged upon my craziness. Tonight I attended my first ever pregnancy and infant loss awareness day gathering. It truly is amazing how many lives these little ones touch. Still missing mine every second...<3

{Captureyourgrief} Day 13: Signs

Day 13: Signs

I have often felt Clutch close to me. The days following his passing I felt a sweet, content spirit lingering in our hospital room. I could picture him standing next to us as we held his lifeless body, wishing he could intervene somehow. I have glimpses of what he may look like now at 4 months, and the hairs on my body stand up. And often times in the middle of hectic life, I become overwhelmed with cold chills like I've never felt before. I'd like to think its him giving me a hug. I know that the veil is thinner than we believe and that our loved ones surround us on a daily basis. Sometimes when things are quiet, I whisper to him how much I love and miss him and I know with all my heart that he hears me.

{Captureyourgrief} Day 12: Scent

{Captureyourgrief} Day 11: Supportive family and friends

Day 11:

I have no picture for this one because there is no way to put a picture containing all of the people who have helped me along this journey. A few I couldn't do it without would be my own immediate family. They have been here since the moment we lost Clutch and have not left my side. They are my everything. There are no words to express how much I appreciate them. I will never be able to repay them. They keep me positive about my situation, but accept me when I am not. And I could not end this post without mentioning my loving Husband, who is the only person on Earth whose feelings are closest to mine. He is my rock. I know God gave me this trial because I had Chaisson, and he is so strong and so positive. I am so blessed to be surrounded with support and love.

{Captureyourgrief} Day 10: Symbol

I can't help but think of Clutch when I look up at our beautiful Southern Utah skies and see these Heavenly clouds. I imagine the painting of Christ in the clouds with open arms and Angels on both sides, and my mind puts Clutch right there waiting to greet me.

{Captureyourgrief} Day 9: special place

Day 9: special place

The temple is my special place. I feel so close to Heaven. It truly is a little piece of Heaven on Earth.