Thursday, May 2, 2013

Where I am now...nearly 11 months out.

Well, here I am... almost 1 year ago I was planning to meet you. This last year has been filled with my greatest joys, deepest sorrows, life-lessons learned, and love felt. In just 1 month I will be planning your birthday, but it will be so different than a typical one year old birthday. There will be no messy face, half-eaten cake, the blowing out of candles, gifts, laughs, and smiles. There will be balloons though. You won't be poking at them and carrying them around in your tiny hands. I will be sending them to you- in Heaven. As much as it hurts that this is my reality, it is just that- reality. I will openly admit that I have hard days without you here, but I have come to the point where I feel blessed. I feel blessed that I was given you, a choice spirit, a perfect angel as my son. How many people can say that? I feel blessed to have been given to opportunity to carry you for 9 months, and to feel your kicks and hiccups. Some people never get that opportunity. I feel blessed to know that you are mine forever, for eternity. You are my son and always will be my son and I will have the opportunity to raise you once again. I love you little man. Not a single day goes by that I don't think of you. I know I have you pulling for me in Heaven, and I have a feeling that we have some exciting things to come. <3

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